Wednesday, May 18, 2011


Today is the midfeast of Pentecost.

Halfway to Pentecost.

There is another halfway...

I would have been 20 weeks pregnant now.

I would have felt him kick.

He could have heard my voice.


I wouldn't have had to get the non-elastic waisted skirts back out to wear.

I wouldn't be looking at pregnancy loss sites daily.

I wouldn't be looking for a stone to put on his grave with his name on it.

I wouldn't understand the pain so many people have experienced.


I wouldn't even know if he were a boy or girl.

I would be looking at pictures my husband took of my belly.

Not pictures of myself crouching beside his grave.

"Where your treasure is, there your heart is also."

Part of my heart is in heaven.

But the rest of me is only



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