Forpost: the Fortress

Incredible video. No one has any idea how much I needed to see this today. It was a blessing.
Please watch!!

Fr Michael: "If people are trying to scare me: "think about it, you've got more than 140 children, what will you do? We can barely manage with 2, 3 of our own, how do you see their future?" I simply trust in God. I don't think about the hardships because God carries everything on His shoulders. If He knows that we need our daily bread on the table, He gives it to us. If these children need to be fed, clothed, take their medicine on time, and have warmth - He provides everything. If He was giving us everything until today, how can I fear for tomorrow?"

h/t Byzantine Texas

2012...farewell...

   
Today we say goodbye to 2012. When I look back over the past few years, sometimes I shudder. Father mentioned in his sermon yesterday that it's a good thing God doesn't sit down with us ahead of time and give us the whole plan with all the little details. I for one know that I would bail out. If I were to have seen that "annual plan" of 2011, all the blessings would have faded as I saw "bury two babies" in big black type. How could we survive knowing what is to befall any of us? We couldn't. That's why only the very few, very holy are given the gift of foresight. The rest of us take it as it comes, bit by bit. We can't handle any more than that.

   Up until 2011, while bad things had happened (and they've happened to everyone), none of them came close to losing Innocent and Andrew. I had previously been able to turn my back on the bad and look to the future with some hope, knowing "things will get better". Last year, every time I looked to the future it was with sheer terror. Knowing some of the worst that can happen to you, I was terrified that there was more to come, right around the corner. I had to fight irrational fears that one of my children or my husband would be dead in the next 24 hours. I found myself mentally planning funerals. This sounds awful, but after two funerals in 8 months, anything seemed possible. Where were Father's good white vestments (to be buried in)? Who would take all the children if we both went? How do you keep breathing? Well, no one died in 2012. I didn't lose parents, siblings, nieces or nephews, husband or children. It just went to show me that things do not always continue to get worse.

   Now, looking ahead to 2013, I have to fight down fear again. And I really do mean have to. Fear must be fought. The evil one deals in fear. I will not put down all of my fears here in print. The evil one cannot read our minds [this was a surprise to me when I found out] but he can read over our shoulders and listen in on our conversations. The only place we are safe from that is in confession.

   I used to look at a new year and think of the "resolutions" everyone is trying to commit to. I used to make those too. "Lose weight", "read the Bible more", etc. I have very little confidence in my ability to on my own make plans like that and stick to them. Plus, I have bigger fish to fry.

   I am not looking ahead at the whole year. I'm not looking at half a year, or a month, or even a week. All I can work on is today. I have no assurance that I will be still in this life tomorrow. Why waste time fretting and frightening myself with morbid fantasies [my spiritual father said most people fantasize about good things...I do the opposite, lol] when I might not even be alive to see them happen or not? I'm not saying that I'm about to pop off. The odds that I'll still be around to write a post for the beginning of 2014 are pretty good. But something I've learned about in the last 2 years is how meaningless odds are. I've been on the "wrong side" of the odds too many times to count. I can't see into the future and things like odds are only useful (if they're useful at all) in retrospect.

   Something my spiritual father has told me is that the evil one wants us to live in either the past or the future, but not today. We can't go back and change the past and we can't go back to live there. We can't see into the future and worrying about it distracts us from today. We are saved today, not yesterday or tomorrow.

   So, I guess if I had to make a resolution, it would be to live today. But I only make that resolution for today, not tomorrow.

   Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. [Matt 6:25-34]

Holy Innocents

   Today is the Feast of the Holy Innocents. By traditional count, 14,000 infant boys under the age of 2 were slaughtered under Herod's orders in an unsuccessful attempt to kill the Messiah who could usurp his throne. (It has been suggested that given historical evidence, the number was nowhere near that number, but even one is too many.) In the western church this feast is celebrated on the 28th, not the 29th, so I had a gazillion hits on Lost Innocents yesterday from people searching for "holy innocents".

   We have our own holocaust of holy innocents now: 50 million babies a year are killed by abortion, 1.2 million in the U.S. alone. I had this feast on my mind yesterday as I was on Pinterest and I was searching for pro-life pins. Seeing pro-abortion propaganda is one of my triggers so I should have known better, but live and learn. I came across a pin (that had "pro-life" in its description, hence the appearance) that was short, to the point, and an out-and-out lie. It claimed that 10,000 women a year were killed by "unsafe" abortion before Roe vs. Wade, and none afterward. [The implication being that if abortion were made illegal 10,000 women a year would die again.] The truth is that many women die each year from "safe", legal abortion. This is a fact and you don't have to look too hard to find it. Another fact is that only a few hundred (tops) women a year were dying from "unsafe" abortion before it was legalized. Have a look at this:

CONFESSION OF AN EX-ABORTIONIST

By Dr. Bernard Nathanson

I am personally responsible for 75,000 abortions. This legitimizes

my credentials to speak to you with some authority on the issue.

I was one of the founders of the National Association for the Repeal

of the Abortion Laws (NARAL) in the U.S. in 1968. A truthful poll

of opinion then would have found that most Americans were against

permissive abortion. Yet within five years we had convinced the

U.S. Supreme Court to issue the decision which legalized abortion

throughout America in 1973 and produced virtual abortion on demand

up to birth. How did we do this? It is important to understand the tactics

involved because these tactics have been used throughout the western

world with one permutation or another, in order to change abortion law.

THE FIRST KEY TACTIC WAS TO CAPTURE THE MEDIA

We persuaded the media that the cause of permissive abortion was a

liberal enlightened, sophisticated one. Knowing that if a true poll

were taken, we would be soundly defeated, we simply fabricated the

results of fictional polls. We announced to the media that we had

taken polls and that 60% of Americans were in favour of permissive

abortion. This is the tactic of the self-fulfilling lie. Few people

care to be in the minority. We aroused enough sympathy to sell our

program of permissive abortion by fabricating the number of illegal

abortions done annually in the U.S. The actual figure was approaching

100,000 but the figure we gave to the media repeatedly was 1,000,000.

Repeating the big lie often enough convinces the public. The number

of women dying from illegal abortions was around 200-250 annually.

The figure we constantly fed to the media was 10,000. These false

figures took root in the consciousness of Americans convincing many

that we needed to crack the abortion law. Another myth we fed to the

public through the media was that legalizing abortion would only

mean that the abortions taking place illegally would then be done

legally. In fact, of course, abortion is now being used as a primary

method of birth control in the U.S. and the annual number of abortions

has increased by 1500% since legalization.

(continue reading)

   So, to get back to Pinterest, I left a comment on the pin, linking to the above article and another one, completely disproving the alleged "facts". The person who had pinned it commented back and questioned the veracity of the sources and claimed that the entire argument was one of "supremacy of control over your own body". At this point my blood pressure was probably 200/130 and my hands were shaking. I left another comment (that did not have profanity in it, despite how I felt) and then refused to respond to further comments. An hour later I looked and the pin had been taken down. One small victory, I thought.

   I was very, very angry and as that started to settle down I felt very despondent. I have prayed for years and years that abortion might end. I said ages ago that this was one thing I would not stop fighting as long as there is breath in my body. I have begged a woman not to kill her miraculously surviving twin but carry it and I would adopt it. She said adoption was "cruel" and aborted him anyway. This is not the only example. I realized I was magnificently failing to distinguish the sinner from the sin and was frankly hating people who persisted in their delusions and either killed babies or supported and encouraged other people to do so. I knew that if I had the knowledge that any of these people were about to land in Hell I wouldn't feel sorry. What a terrible thing. Lord have mercy.

   I felt like my prayers had been useless all these years. That I had never helped one person, never changed one heart, never saved one life. I have found out a woman who I fervently prayed for aborted her 14 week baby anyway and within a couple weeks was on drugs and alcohol, suicidal, and had her living children removed from her. What happened to all of those prayers?

This morning as part of my daily reading I read this:  

When the days drew near for him to be taken up, he set his face to go to Jerusalem. And he sent messengers ahead of him, who went and entered a village of the Samaritans, to make preparations for him. But the people did not receive him, because his face was set toward Jerusalem. And when his disciples James and John saw it, they said, “Lord, do you want us to tell fire to come down from heaven and consume them?” But he turned and rebuked them. And they went on to another village. [Luke 9:51-56, ESV]

   Oh my. I can just see James and John angry, humiliated, vengeful and wanting fire to rain from heaven and destroy that city. Kind of like me. We are not told exactly what Christ said, but he basically told them to shut up and they left. In other words, I need to let the comments go and walk away. I was thinking about Jonah too. Boy, was he mad when God had compassion on the folks in Ninevah after they repented! He had even gotten himself a good seat on the hill to watch the fireworks but God had mercy instead. [I've always thought the book of Jonah was a hilarious story.] I felt kind of like that too.

  Because this happens a lot I shouldn't be surprised, but lo and behold, what was another one of my readings this morning?

When we see that the people around us have no love for God we are distressed. But with our distress we achieve nothing at all. Nor do we achieve anything by trying to persuade them to change their ways. That's not right either. There is a secret, however, and if we understand it, we will be able to help. The secret is our prayer and our devotion to God so that His grace may act. We, with our love, with our fervent desire for the love of God, will attract grace so that it washes over those around us and awakens them to divine love. Or rather God will send His love and will rouse them all. What we are unable to do, His grace will achieve. With our prayers we will make all worthy of God's love.

-Wounded by Love, p. 185, Elder Porphyrios

Fortunately I had the grace to laugh at myself (a good night's sleep helps). There's my answer.

Visiting the Fire Station

This is sort of a catch-up post. While we were in SC visiting my parents my father took the boys to the fire station to meet the chief and have a tour. They loved it.

 They were shown all through the truck:

 

These little pieces of equipment you see below cost a LOT. I am so glad I wasn't there. I would have been hyperventilating seeing my butter-fingered boys holding them.

The piece that Pickles is holding is taken into the burning building. It's infrared. The part Ginger is holding is a remote camera that "sees" everything the other part sees.

 

Naturally they got to try on the outfit.

When Ginger first put on the helmet his head snapped back; he wasn't expecting it to be so heavy! He's looking slightly down in an effort to keep his head up.

They got to sit up front and push buttons to turn all the lights on. Not the sirens...not in an enclosed space!

They were also taken through the living quarters and got to meet a few other firefighters. They had a fantastic time!

The Feast of Stephen and Good King Wenceslaus

This was going to be a simple post about "Good King Wenceslaus" but I was surprised in the course of my research.

First, the lyrics:

Good King Wenceslaus looked out on the Feast of Stephen,
When the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even.
Brightly shone the moon that night, though the frost was cruel,
When a poor man came in sight, gathering winter fuel.

“Hither, page, and stand by me, if thou knowst it, telling,
Yonder peasant, who is he? Where and what his dwelling?”
“Sire, he lives a good league hence, underneath the mountain,
Right against the forest fence, by Saint Agnes’ fountain.”

“Bring me flesh and bring me wine, bring me pine logs hither,

Thou and I will see him dine, when we bear them thither.”
Page and monarch, forth they went, forth they went together,
Through the cold wind’s wild lament and the bitter weather.

“Sire, the night is darker now, and the wind blows stronger,
Fails my heart, I know not how; I can go no longer.”
“Mark my footsteps, my good page, tread thou in them boldly,
Thou shall find the winter’s rage freeze thy blood less coldly.”

In his master’s steps he trod, where the snow lay dinted;
Heat was in the very sod which the saint had printed.
Therefore, Christian men, be sure, wealth or rank possessing,

He who now will bless the poor shall himself find blessing.

Love it. These were written in 1853 by John Mason Neale. I was surprised to find that while this carol is a popular one today, many people were scandalized that the lyrics were set to  "Tempus adest floridum" ("It is time for flowering"), a 13th-century spring carol published in a Finnish book.

Translation:

Spring has now unwrapped the flowers, day is fast reviving,
Life in all her growing powers towards the light is striving:
Gone the iron touch of cold, winter time and frost time,
Seedlings, working through the mould, now make up for lost time.

Herb and plant that, winter long, slumbered at their leisure,
Now bestirring, green and strong, find in growth their pleasure;
All the world with beauty fills, gold the green enhancing,
Flowers make glee among the hills, set the meadows dancing.

Through each wonder of fair days God Himself expresses;
Beauty follows all His ways, as the world He blesses:
So, as He renews the earth, Artist without rival,
In His grace of glad new birth we must seek revival.

Earth puts on her dress of glee; flowers and grasses hide her;
We go forth in charity—brothers all beside her;
For, as man this glory sees in th’awakening season,
Reason learns the heart’s decrees, hearts are led by reason.

Praise the Maker, all ye saints; He with glory girt you,
He Who skies and meadows paints fashioned all your virtue;
Praise Him, seers, heroes, kings, heralds of perfection;
Brothers, praise Him, for He brings all to resurrection!

Well, I can see how that might have been a little out of place. For us today the lyrics and the melody seem inextricably wedded.

St. Wenceslaus

St. Stephen

   There is something else interesting I noted: the date of the feast of St. Stephen the first martyr. Western tradition celebrates it on December 26th, the day after Christmas. In the east it is celebrated on December 27th. As Orthodox we celebrate the Synaxis of the Theotokos on the 26th. It was in the 7th century that the feast of the Protomartyr Stephen was moved from the second to the 3rd day of Christmas, the 27th. Amusingly, the feast of St. Wenceslaus is September 28th although everyone seems to associate him more with the feast of St. Stephen.

Christ is born! Glorify Him!

Thy nativity, O Christ our God,

has shown to the world the light of wisdom.

For by it those who worshiped the stars 

were taught by a star to adore Thee,

the Sun of Righteousness,

and to know Thee the Orient from on high.

O Lord Glory to Thee!

Christmas Eve

Merry Christmas!

I took 17 photos. This was the best. *sigh*

I'm dreaming of a stormy Christmas

I don't think those lyrics will replace the popular "White Christmas" lyrics anytime soon. As most of you know (and if you don't, God bless you) I am a weather junkie and one of my dreams is to actually see a tornado with my own eyes. However, this is not something I tend to think of as a stocking stuffer.

Our Christmas forecast (south MS) calls for strong thunderstorms and a decent possibility of tornadoes. I would prefer to meet a tornado somewhere on the plains, somewhere relatively flat and free of trees. Tornadoes are things you want to see coming a good ways off. Where I live now, a tornado could sneak up the interstate, tiptoe through several backyards, and pounce on me as I took out the garbage. If I were to get a look at a tornado from the vantage point of my yard, its whirling debris heading over the oaks and the neighbors' roof would be about the last thing I ever saw. Not ideal, to say the least. Also, I wouldn't be able to get the entire thing in one frame of my camera.

I hope everyone stays safe if traveling this Christmas, even if just to church and back. Those strong storms will continue to move to the east, heading for the rest of my family (at this moment we're the farthest west) but all of them are very weather-wise and I'm sure won't make any rash decisions.

Preparations-wise, we're making sure there's nothing loose in the yard today while the sun still shines. Santa Claus got smart and moved all the boxes from the trunk of the car where he was keeping them to the attic so he won't have to go out in the rain to bring things in. Our menu tomorrow includes things that can be eaten if the power goes out so we're all set. I made a run to the drug store and got more cough medicine (and had to show my driver's license...do they really think I look younger than 18? Shoot, I'm more than freaking twice that...ok, rant over.)

Anyway, I hope everyone has a safe and merry Christmas!

A Light in the Darkness

Today, these words seem just as terrible, as awesome, as wonderful, as staggering...as they did 2,000 years ago:

In the beginning was the Word,

and the Word was with God,

and the Word was God. [John 1:1]

In Him was life; 

and the life was the light of men.

And the light shineth in darkness, 

and the darkness comprehended it not. [John 1:4-5]

And the Word was made flesh and dwelt among us. [John 1:14]

Surely these are some of the most beautiful words ever written.

From Fr. Stephen Freeman's post "What's in the Cave":

The cave of Bethlehem resembles the cave of Hades into which Christ descends at His death. It also resembles the space framed by the rocks in most icons of Christ’s baptism. The same space can be seen on most icons of the crucifixion (beneath the cross and framing a skull). This iconographic similarity is not accidental. The cave of Bethlehem is meant to resemble the cave of Hades (just as the child in swaddling clothes resembles a body wrapped for burial). It resembles the cave of Hades for the same reason that the space framed by the rocks at Christ’s theophany resembles the cave of Hades. They are pointing to one and the same thing: Christ Incarnation is God’s descent into our world where sin and death reign. The incarnation of the Word is immediately a challenge to the darkness of death and hell.

St. John makes this clear in the prologue of his gospel. He speaks of Christ as the “Light of the world,” and within the same breath brings that Light into conflict with the darkness: “the Light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.”

(source)

(source)

Also from Fr. Stephen:
 

The same darkness marks the world to our day. The Light still shines and the darkness does not overcome it – but it is in darkness that the Light shines. The cave is the world – make no mistake.

Those who are baptized into Christ are baptized into His death according to St. Paul. It is also true that those who are baptized into Christ “receive the Light of Christ.” But to participate in the Light of Christ in this world is to be light in the midst of darkness.

I happened to see this example of a light in the darkness today. Please watch.

Readying the church...

Under large icons: magnolia leaves, nandina berries and foliage, camellia japonica blossoms

Around stand icons: nandina berries and foliage, camellia japonica blossoms

(plus two tiny poinsettias I found today in memory of Innocent and Andrew)

Four days til'...

We have a house full of sick people. I dragged myself out of bed today to finish decorating the tree (only two casualties - better than most years) and after taking some hefty cold medicine was able to finish decorating the inside of the house and cut some greenery. I feel like I have tapioca pudding for brains so I have nothing to offer here except for some not-quite-in-focus photos. Do not be deceived: I didn't photograph the pile of medicine cups waiting to be washed, etc.

The Post-Fast Food Cravings of a 9-Year-Old

 I casually mentioned to the kids yesterday that I'd have to start asking what people wanted to eat after (and on) Christmas so I could put together a grocery list. I didn't think about it again until I found this on my desk:

Ginger has interesting tastes! His spelling is interesting too. Odd, because he almost always makes 100 on his spelling tests. (Of course, tilapia and broccoli have not been on those lists...) I find it very amusing that his foods are divided into "meat" and "other", lol. That's probably what several of us are thinking about now.

In case you have trouble reading the list, here it is, reproduced with inappropriate capitalizations, spelling mistakes and all:

Meat:

Bacan

ham

hot Dog

Pork

chicken

meat Louf

hamBerger

cheechBerger

Beef

Other:

Apples

orange

srimp

Brokaley

toulopia

cod

sandwitch

Rice

taco

Pinapple

Banana

Saled

Plum

Review of "The Scent of Holiness"

[This is the review I wrote for Amazon at Matushka Constantina's request (an honor, Matushka!) and I'm reproducing it here. The Scent of Holiness by Matushka Constantina Palmer is available from Amazon and from Conciliar Press.)

Having visited both men's and women's monasteries I can attest to the fact that while they are similar in many ways, each has its own “flavor” or character. Most of the books written about Orthodox monasticism are written about men's monasteries. The fact that The Scent of Holiness was written by a woman about women's monasteries is significant and a welcome addition.

Matushka Constantina spent considerable time visiting several women's monasteries in Greece. She grew to know the nuns well and in the end was very much an “insider”. She is therefore able to give us a unique perspective on the day-to-day life in an Orthodox women's monastery. The nuns are not plaster saints but ordinary women “working out [their] salvation in fear and trembling.”

More importantly, through the numerous vignettes we are able to glean some of the simple lessons monasticism has to teach us. Lack of curiosity, humility, self-knowledge, control of thoughts, and obedience are a few of these priceless pearls. Matushka is careful to point out that never during her stays was she deliberately “taught” by the nuns. They always taught by example or by relating stories of their own.

Not everything in the book is serious, far from it! In the course of her time in Greece Matushka was learning Greek and there are several humorous anecdotes in which this elementary knowledge played a part – to the great amusement of the nuns. My favorite by far is the story of the “dark animal that walks in the air.”

Reading The Scent of Holiness is akin to visiting a monastery yourself. You will find yourself unable to put it down and when you finally emerge, blinking in the daylight, you will not be quite the same person who picked up the book. I cannot recommend it highly enough.

 Matushka Constantina blogs at Lessons from a Monastery.

Surrounded

 

I was feeling blue this morning, missing the boys and just a bit down in general. I was sitting next to Father and he said to "go ahead and say prayers and get it over with." [Note: I was procrastinating] I said, "Gee, that's not the way to think about it! I was hoping for some consolation." He said, "Yes, but sometimes that's just what you have to do."

True. If we always waited for things to "feel right" then most of us would pray very seldom. 

But to get back to this morning, I started thinking about the consolation I was seeking. I picked up my prayer book and an index card fell out of the back. I had written on it words from my spiritual father given to me after Innocent died. On the back I had added a few things after Andrew died. I used to pull this card out every single time I said prayers and read it to remind myself of things that I would otherwise forget in my depression and grief. At the very top I had written, "Fr. M. loves me and prays for me at home and at church." Isn't it wonderful to know that someone loves us? Most of us are loved by many people, but they are people and subject to temptation just as we are.

We must give our heart to someone, and if we give it to any person on this planet, this person can harm us. We all seek boundless and unchangeable love and infinite peace, but who can give it to us? Not even our parents, our brothers, or our sisters. Every one of them can abandon, despise, or harm us. Why? Because we are all limited by time and space and we all battle against the unclean powers, which are constantly defiling our thoughts.

 

-Our Thoughts Determine Our Lives, Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica, p. 121

 I suddenly was reminded of something that I had (shamefully) not done in weeks. I would pray rounds on my prayer rope asking the intercessions of my favorite saints. Because I have a memory like a sieve when it comes to important things - alas, trivia is no problem - I decided to write down the names of those saints in the empty space left on the card as an encouragement to pray:

"Holy Mother Macrina pray to God for me!

Holy St. Anna pray to God for me!

Holy St. Nectarios pray to God for me!"

etc.

I looked back over the list, thinking carefully to see if I had left anyone out, and in doing so I was suddenly aware of the very strong feeling of not being alone. In fact it was so strong it startled me. I felt absolutely surrounded by the love and prayers of these saints and holy elders and eldresses. The things I had been worried about and fretting over seemed very far away and unimportant. I basked in it for a minute.

Incongruously, the lyrics to the old show, "Cheers", came to mind:

 

Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.

Wouldn't you like to get away?

Sometimes you want to go

Where everybody knows your name,
and they're always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name.

You wanna go where people know,
people are all the same,
You wanna go where everybody knows
your name.

Naturally, these are worldly lyrics, referring to a bar of all things, but it highlights something universal in all of us: we all want to find a place where we are known and loved and welcomed. All of us, whether we acknowledge it or not, are looking for that. What defines us is where we search and what we expect to find. We know, because Christ has told us, that we will not find it in the world. Because we are all created in the image and likeness of God we are capable of loving each other, but it is clouded by petty jealousies, disagreements, pride, etc. God, through His saints, His mother, and not least of all, Himself, is the only One capable of giving us what we are all so desperately searching for.

 

[As a footnote, I was truly surprised that something so simple as just writing down, "Saint X pray to God for me!" for all of my favorite saints and elders had such a stunning result.  I'm not in the business of giving spiritual advice, but I think this is something that anyone could do.]

Pseudo-humility

Don't let's turn back to sins we have confessed. The recollection of sins is harmful. Have we asked for forgiveness? Then the matter is closed. God forgives everything with confession. We mustn't turn back and enmesh ourselves in despair. We need to be humble servants before God and have a sense of  gratitude for the forgiveness of our sins. 

It is not healthy to be excessively downcast on account of your sins and to turn with such revulsion against your evil self that you end up in despair. Despondency is the worst thing. It is a snare set by Satan to make a person lose his appetite for spiritual things and to bring him into a state of despair, inactivity and negligence. In this state a person is unable to do anything and rendered useless. The person says, 'I am sinful and wretched, I am this, I am that, I didn't do this, I didn't do that... I should have done that then, now it's too late, nothing can be done... I've wasted my life, I am unworthy...' He is brought into a sense of inferiority and consumed by fruitless self-reproach. Do you know what a destructive thing that is? It is pseudo-humility.

All these things are symptoms of a person in despair whom Satan has brought under his sway. Such a person reaches the point where he doesn't even want to receive Communion because he regards himself as unworthy of everything. He attempts to negate everything about himself and is rendered useless. This is a snare set by Satan so that a person will lose his hope in God's love. All this is quite terrible and contrary to the Spirit of God.

I, too, think that I am sinful and that I am not living as I should. Nevertheless, I make  whatever distresses me into prayer. I do not shut it up inside myself. I go to my spiritual father and confess it and it is finished and done with. Don't let's go back and recriminate and say what we didn't do. What is important is what we will do now, from this moment onwards — as Saint Paul says, forgetting the things that are behind and stretching forward to the things that are before us. [Phil. 3:14]

-Wounded by Love, Elder Porphyrios, p. 175-176

Fr. Demetrios Carellas on the slaughter of innocents

 [Thoughts from Fr. Demetrios Carellas, Nativity of the Theotokos Monastery, Saxonburg, PA:]

My dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

I am certain that all of you have been offering prayers for the families of the 27 people, 20 of whom were children under the age of 8, who were murdered this morning by a deranged young man who then took his own life.  All over our Nation, leaders in the News Media and Government, together with Religious superiors,  have been offering their condemnation of this terrible crime; and calling for prayers and support to be given to the family members of the slain.  Only God knows the intensity of their pain --- the fragmentation of their hearts!

While it is impossible to circumscribe with words the magnitude of this tragedy,  I feel that these words of an Orthodox priest succinctly describe a major cause of it:

There is no such thing as a Cultural or Societal Vacuum. If there is the absence of good, there will be the presence of evil. The sad truth is that a society that thinks so little of life as to murder the unborn does not have the moral cultivation to hold up life in any other stage of its existence either."  

 --- Fr. David Sterry Mahaffey

Beloved sojourners on the sea of life, an average 3600 innocent children are murdered - legally and for profit - everyday in our Nation!  This crime against God has been going on for 40 years, and has resulted in the slaughter of over 55 million pre-born - and occasionally, born - children.  Unfortunately, the silence - from media, governmental and religious leaders - regarding this ungodly, DAILY infanticide is deafening!

And what about each one of us?  All of us expressed shock and horror at what happened today in an elementary school in Connecticut.  I am sure many of us shed tears.  Why do we not shed even more tears at the daily legalized murder of over 180 times more children than lost their lives today at that public school?  Why do we not speak out against this despicable, sacrilegious, demonic infanticide?  Why do we vote for people who champion a woman's "right" to hire a hit man (who poses as a physician) to kill her baby?

For now, I humbly entreat you to join with me in begging our Lord to embrace those departed souls, killed today, with His great mercy; and to give His Divine compassion and support to their families.

In just 10 days, we will again be given the opportunity to re-live the awesome birth of "the newborn Child, the God before time."  Let us prepare the cave of our hearts to receive Him!

Your  unworthy servant in Christ Jesus,

+Papa Demetrios

Pray for Noah

Please pray for little Noah. He just had surgery to place a new, larger suprapubic catheter and is now very, very sick. He was taken to the ER by ambulance and now they are waiting for his transfer to a larger hospital. His central line is also not functioning well and he requires three continuous infusions and more than 30 IV medication doses a day. This line will have to be replaced. And through all of this...he hasn't woken up. His mother is understandably very worried and has asked everyone to pray.

Lord have mercy!!

We're home now. On the way back we turned on NPR at 5:00 to listen to All Things Considered. That's when we heard the horrible news of what transpired in CT today. I don't even want to know more details. I can't possibly comprehend the agony so many people are suffering right now. Lord have mercy on all of us.

And memory eternal to the 28 who lost their lives. May they find peace with God.