Friday, November 22, 2013

God's Time

Time is a funny thing.
People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff.
Technically, if you average out all of our perceptions of time it does look pretty regular, linear, etc., but since we don't live in averages we are stuck living in our own perceptions. We've all had experiences of "time slowing down" or "time flying by".

Right now, with a new baby, a stubbornly broken body, and all the disturbed sleep and minor hallucinations that go along with them, my perception of time has taken a serious hit. Yesterday Miss Moppet was three weeks old. It was also her due date. Very strange and out of our experience with all of our late babies. She is still very much the newborn but she is certainly growing. I had to put away all of her preemie things a few days ago. She's spending more time awake and checking things out. 

Along with her, I'm waking and sleeping at all times of the day and night. On cloudy days (yesterday and today) I sometimes have no earthly idea what time it is. On Wednesday I thought it was Tuesday. I forgot Thanksgiving is next week. Not being at the Church's services means I am drifting aimlessly around the calendar, unable to remember what feast is next unless I'm actually staring at the physical calendar on the wall of the kitchen. As a naturally orderly person this is very disconcerting.

This time with a new baby is very much "out of time". Babies sleep and eat with no regard to your regular meal or sleeping times. They don't care that you finally got to lie down with a book or that something needs to come out of the oven. They are very ontological beings, living completely in the Now. They have no idea of selfishness or selflessness. They just Are. When you are watching a baby, especially a sleeping one, for any length of time, you are amazingly pulled into this state of theirs, unaware of time passing, unaware of anything except what is right here, right now.


Babies live in "God's Time". 

Miss Moppet and Sleep-Deprived Mommy

4 comments:

  1. It's a wonderful, blessed time, but so stressful and demanding. I'm glad you are able to sleep at any time of night or day. In my experience, four continuous hours is what it takes to hang on to your mental health during sleep-deprived periods. Good strength to you!

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  2. I am with you! I thought yesterday was Tuesday and was completely confused as to why it was almost the weekend.

    I am trying to just let myself BE in the midst of all this. We've basically gone back to semi-"normal" life. It is much sooner than I would have liked, but it is what it is.

    Rest while you can and enjoy all those snuggles!!

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  3. Totally loving your Doctor Who reference.... one of my favorite quotes from the show!
    Are you watching the 50th tomorrow? (That is, if anyone will let you!) Just say Miss Moppet really. needs. to. nurse. for 75 minutes. :-D

    Hang in there! Everything changes each week. Maybe next week you will get some sleep! (And that baby girl is positively delicious! I tried to say that on an earlier post but blogger wouldn't let me comment for some reason.)

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  4. she is such a cutie! May God bless and protect you in this time!

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