Monday, November 18, 2013

Patience


I am generally not a patient person. But I must set aside all of my restlessness and just BE.

My physical recovery, while not out of the range of normal, is slow. I had my first baby when I was 24. Now I'm 39. There has been a lot of mileage.

Thinking I was progressing more quickly than I was in actuality, I started resuming usual activities. I did laundry. I went to the grocery store (for a small trip), carrying Miss Moppet on my chest. I cleaned the kitchen.

I didn't feel like I was overdoing it, but then unmistakable signs appeared that I was. Back to bed with me. Even sitting up too long caused regression. I spent most of the weekend in bed. I worked on a birthday present for someone. I made tiny knitted hats. I read multiple books on the history of the American space program.

In the meantime the house started disintegrating. I couldn't walk to the kitchen for something to drink without cringing. It was a major effort to restrict myself to loading and starting the dishwasher and not wash the pots and pans. I had to walk into the boys' room to say goodnight and not give in to the urge to pick up the shoes on the floor (and the 13,489 other things).

I hate nagging so I have kept quiet except for some gentle reminders to "take out the trash" and "bring your dirty clothes to the sorter". Not everyone shares my nit-pickiness for tidying and I have to be patient with that. I'm not used to playing queen bee and dictating what everyone else will do while lying on my couch eating bon-bons (relatively speaking, of course).

For now, my job is primarily to take care of the baby, to remember to drink enough, to rest until I'm healed. As much as I want to go out for long walks, I can't. I can't even take short walks right now. I have to remember I'm only 18 days out from major surgery. Even if some people manage to start jogging after only 10 days (highly inadvisable, by the way), that's not the timeline my body is on.

Patience.


7 comments:

  1. It is so difficult to be still, especially with a new baby and other children in the house! People do forget (especially the new mother herself) that a C-Section IS major surgery. Since famous people begin their Jane Fonda workouts before leaving the hospital and show off killer figures and grueling work schedules before their babies' belly stumps fall off, is it any wonder we have unrealistic expectations for ourselves?

    The mess will still be there when you feel better. I'm so glad you went back to bed. <3

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  2. I had an emergency c-section in May (my first after four vaginal deliveries), so I hear you! I have a thousand stairs in my house (not really, just 47), and I laughed and laughed when they told me to take it easy on the stairs. I did find the recovery went well, considering, but I was symptomatic long after I was with the other kids (4+ months post partum). Resting with older kids running amok is just so hard. Maybe you could make a task chart for some of the older girls so you can feel like some things are getting done while you are resting?

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  3. this would be hard. but you ARE working ~ working at healing so you can go back into more later. Having kids do chores, in my view anyway, is part of being a good parent. Teaching them responsibility. My husband had chores and he is such a good husband because he was taught manners and basically was able to grow up because of it. So task away in my opinion and don't think you are not working ~ you are teaching them skills and working on healing.

    I know it's hard; when I had mono it was so HARD to rest ALL the time!

    praying for you daily.

    so sorry it is hard. sending a HUG your way...

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  4. it helped me to think of it as a little rest now will save you so much time in the future by preventing major problems. every nap is a deposit in the energy account that you can draw from in the future as your body allows.

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  5. I an just now feeling normal and Samuel is three months old. C-sections are different for everyone, but I can relate to slow recoveries and the need for much patience.

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  6. I love your honesty and your humour (jogging after 10 days is "highly inadvisable" haha!).

    Despite slow recovery and struggling with patients, at least you have a bundle of beautiful baby-scented joy to cuddle with while you heal! I've loved the photos of her, so precious!!!

    Love and prayers!

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  7. Thank you, everyone, for the advice, love and prayers!

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