Tuesday, February 17, 2015

How to Toddler-Proof a Room

How to toddler-proof? Isn't that just like baby-proofing? Ahahahaha! You poor dear. Let's look at this more closely:

Pickles, 2008

Baby Proofing:

1. Examine floor for small objects. Remove from reach anything that can fit through a toilet paper tube.

2. Insert outlet covers into all outlets near the floor. Hide or cover all electrical cords.

3. Place fire-guard across fire place.

4. Put foam covers on sharp corners of furniture.

See? Simple. Just get on the floor on your stomach and look around, pretending you're a small, creeping baby. Toddler-proofing is a bit harder. Now you have to pretend you're a circus-trained contortionist who is a cross between Albert Einstein and Superman with a little Houdini thrown in for fun.

Pickles, 2007

Toddler Proofing:

1. Remove or anchor to the wall/floor all pieces of furniture that can be moved. This includes chairs. You will eat all of your meals standing up for the next two years. Or, a viable option is an all-in-one picnic table.
Miss Moppet, 2014
2. Pack your tablecloths away for the next few years.
3. Do not leave anything at all on the table, even if there are no chairs and the item is in the exact center of the table. This includes setting your coffee cup down for 2.7 seconds.
Miss Moppet, 2014

4. Only use the top two shelves of bookcases five shelves or higher. Get rid of any bookcases with fewer shelves because there's no point in having empty bookcases sitting around.

5. Remove all pieces of furniture with drawers unless the drawers are higher than 4 feet from the ground. Empty drawers are not safe. They turn into stairs.

Pickles, 2009

6. Use constant supervision when child is playing with anything larger than 6 inches on a side. These turn into stairs.
Pickles, 2007
7. Remove all curtains and/or blinds.

8. Invest in baby gates that are taller than your toddler is high. Toddlers can hook their heels over the tops of gates that are as high as their heads and then vault over. Aim for six inches higher. And resign yourself to living in this room without leaving for the next two years since you can't get out either. Watch trapped adults turn into extras from Lord of the Flies.

Miss Moppet, 2014

Any questions?

16 comments:

  1. I suppose sticking them to the wall with velcro isn't considered to be a good solution.

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    1. Nancy, you and I think alike. Could be why I only had one!

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    2. Oh, there's a good thought. Now, why didn't I think of that?

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  2. Replies
    1. In a way it was much worse when we had multiple toddlers running around. Now I'm just old and out of practice!

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  3. oh I love it! Nancy, you are so funny.

    That age is so cute Mat. Anna but how tiring for the Mom! Love your humour as I always have. :) ... (((HUGS)))

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    1. VERY cute. :) That's how they survive - by being too cute to be expelled, lol.

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    2. That's exactly why God made them so cute!

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  4. Oh my goodness! My twins are almost 3 but we are still in that stage, except now they are squabbling with their older brothers. I happened to use the restroom last Friday after supper and ended up in the ER with a twin b/c he was fighting with his 5yr old brother and smacked his head into the corner of the entertainment center. Five stitches, fun.

    I LOVE the pictures of Pickles. Totally my life. :)

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    1. Oh no. :( We had multiple ER trips when the older ones were toddlers and preschoolers - elbow out of joint, forehead laceration...

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  5. Good thing they are cute! Funny post, and so where we have been living these last seven years. I keep waiting for them to outgrow these stages...

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    1. I keep trying to remember when this stage is done, but then I think that it lasts a good while longer and in the meantime they grow taller, grow longer arms, and get stronger and heavier... o.O

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  6. I need to learn from the master. I just had to put locks on the cabinets and a doorknob lock on the pantry. But it means I have 2 boys who are being curious and adventurous, so I am reminding myself to rejoice in the mess and chaos. It works well........ Sometimes. :)

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    1. Yes, I remind myself that this all comes from having a healthy, inquisitive child! A blessing!

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  7. I agree with your notion that toddler-proofing is indeed far more different than baby-proofing. Toddlers harbor about ten times the curiosity of infants, and they'd gladly poke around wherever and whenever they see fit. Great tips here; they can certainly prove useful to other parents out there. Cheers!

    Helene Raymond @ Trade Squad

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